I'm feeling scatter-brained tonight. Not sure if it's too little or too much sleep (there's a very fine line between the two and, really, "too much sleep" is an oxymoron), too much candy (yet another oxymoron), or watching The Darjeeling Limited which was Wes Anderson weird, but in a good way.
My friend, Lisa, and I had our bi-monthly (though we try for monthly) dinner and movie night this evening. We were running a little bit late, so when we rushed into the restaurant, we made a point to let the hostess know that our movie was starting in about 30 minutes.
We laughingly said, "We need someone FAST! Put us with the fastest server you have. Now, let's GO!"
She smiled at us, said she understood, she'd seat us with someone quick, and that we'd be out with time to spare.
Then she started walking and said, "I'm not very fast, though." It was then that we saw that she had a noticeable limp thus causing her to walk very sloooooooow. I felt bad that I had rushed her, and even worse because I was laughing my ass off inside my head at the irony of it. (It is ironic, yes? I always mess that up. It seemed ironic to me.)
She didn't take us to a table near the front. She didn't take us to a table in the middle. She took us to a table near the back of the restaurant, on the farthest wall from the door. I think it took about 30 minutes to get there.
We sit down, she walks away (slowly), and when she's finally out of hearing range (about 15 minutes later), Lisa and I burst into laughter. Guilty laughter. We, of course, weren't laughing at her disability, but rather at the fact that she took us to a table SO far away. And at how we had both been thinking to ourselves how messed up the whole situation was as we made our long, uncomfortable trek to the table.
Even though getting to the table took nearly all of our time, we were indeed seated with the fastest waiter in the west. The fastest, but not the most accurate. Lisa didn't get guacamole on her burger (which would have left me in tears) and I had pig on my burger and I'm not a fan of the pig. (It feels cannibalistic. I was born in the year of the boar [not bore!] aka the pig.) But after we inhaled (almost literally) our food, we did make it to the movie with time to spare. (It helped that we thought the movie started ten minutes earlier than it actually started.)
Two comments on the movie:
One, it KILLED me that Jason Schwartzman's character never wore shoes. He traipsed his feet over some nasty stuff. I ALWAYS wear shoes. It's weird, but it's true. It doesn't matter if I'm only walking three feet away, I have my shoes on. (We all have our idiosyncrasies, this happens to be [one of] mine.) So, his running barefoot around INDIA was enough to induce nightmares.
Two, Natalie Portman needs to eat. She's stunningly beautiful, but I don't think I'll ever be able to get the vision of her ribcage, as she stood naked, out of my mind. I much prefer this version of her.
Let's chat. Tell me about your idiosyncrasies.
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9 comments:
how crazy! i have to wear shoes all the time too! i take them off to lie on the couch, then if i need to get something, i must put them on again. i hate being barefoot. i was appalled (sp?) once when this crazy bitch took her shoes off in a bar i was working at. are you insane? not you, but that girl. yuck. a few months ago, i had house guests that 'loved to feel the floor on their feet' and that is exactly how they put it (hence the quotes). i was super happy i had vacuumed :)
Oh oh. Me and my barefooted kids must have driven you bat shit.
Mary, I thought I was the only one!
Cindy, only if you'd been walking around barefoot in India or the like (i.e. public restrooms). My kids run around barefoot as well, but you can bet your ass that they have shoes on in places that can they catch communicable diseases.
Cindy and I are both part hillbilly. I hate wearing shoes too.
If I'm at home, I'm usually barefoot or at least have socks on. T, I could've swore you love to go to the beach and feel the sand in between your toes. haha
I like wearing shoes in the winter because it helps keep my damn feet warm. When I remodel my house all the carpet is going buh-bye so I can meander through my house without worry of messing up the carpet.
Idiosyncrasies? Hmm. I bet I have some but they are hard for me to remember without someone else pointing them out.
Oh! I just thought of one. I like to stand when I go out to listen to music or to a party - people are forever offering me a place to sit and I always have to say "no, thank you". Is that one? I think it is because it always seems to confuse people.
This can be a dangerous idiosyncrasy though; last weekend I was wearing my Halloween costume while listening to music AND attending a party. The Halloween costume required my 2 or 3 inch heeled boots. I never ever ever wear heels and didn't realize that standing on these medium sized heels for about 7 hours was going to have such severe repercussions ... my feet STILL hurt but here's me all night: "No, no thank you, I like to stand".
Ow.
I'm almost six months pregnant. I don't think I'll ever see a ribcage again, ever.
I prefer not to wear shoes. But I wholeheartedly agree with you that shoes are a must in places like gas station bathrooms and outdoors in general (especially in India).
Idiosyncracies? I have to put my make-up on in a specific order and if I'm interrupted I might just forget mascara all together.
I hang my clothes in my closet not only by type (shirt, pants, skirts, etc), but by color. Oh, and my clothes are on white plastic hangers and the HUSband's go on blue plastic hangers. I have no idea how or why that started.
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