I Can't Believe I'm Wishing for Monday

I'm not a pretty crier. In fact, I look pretty damn awful, and not just immediately afterwards, but for a minimum of a day later as well. In fact, I look worse the day after crying than I do the day of the big cry-fest. My eyes swell up and I appear to be having an allergic reaction. Perhaps I'm allergic to my own tears.

Until today, I hadn't cried in awhile. This is a good thing. There have been points in my life where I couldn't remember the last day I hadn't cried. At this time last year, I was crying a minimum of once a day. I don't remember the last time I cried right now, so that tells me I was due for a good cry.

This weekend from start to finish hasn't been especially great. (The best part is that it's not over yet. There's still plenty of time for additional things to go wrong!) Things just felt off from the minute I woke up on Friday, and soon enough I realized that not only did things feel off, they were off. It has been one thing after another from the moment I woke up on Friday.

I'm going to spare you the boring minutiae of my pain-in-the-ass weekend, but I will share a life lesson that I learned.

When you get an emailed wedding announcement from your first love and you find yourself feeling perplexedly sad causing you to forward the email to two friends saying, "And! I'm surprisingly upset by this announcement. What the fuck?", it's best if you actually send the email to your friends instead of back to your first love. I'm just saying. The response from your friends would probably be a lot more positive than the one from your first love. You will spend the next two hours writing voluminous emails trying to explain that you were saying "What the fuck?" about your being upset and not about their impending marriage. Checking that you are sending the email to the correct recipients in the first place will save you a lot of unnecessary grief.

You're welcome.

I'm now going to finish reading The Glass Castle which is doing wonders in terms of improving my self-confidence as a mother and calming my fears about whether I'm doing a good job. Little things like not having enough money to buy them impulse items are not cause for concern; my kids are fed, clothed, clean and cool (or warm on the rare occasions that we actually have cold weather) and that's what's important.