I'm slowly letting people know about this blog. With each stolen moment that I get, I send an email to try and explain why I've not replied to someone's email from early August (when I shut down my old blog) and/or to let them know where I've moved. So, we have some new people around today and people will continue to trickle in as I spread the word.
I'm still a bit censored on this blog as I'm not writing about some very important aspects of my life, but I'm also much more open about myself and my personal life than before and that's been kind of cathartic for me. It might seem as though I'm a different person altogether than the person thought you knew from reading my previous blog. That's not the case at all. I'm still that person, but I'm also more. This is the first time that I've written candidly about my life post-divorce with regard to my interactions with the opposite sex.
I've gone to great lengths to keep this from being found by my ex-in-law's. Though I treated their son with the utmost kindness during our divorce by allowing him to keep EVERY SINGLE ASSET even though he treated me disgustingly awful (even going as far as to have my beloved van [I so loved that van] repossessed after I moved out just to be an asshole), taking only half of what I was owed in child support and declining alimony altogether, and sharing custody 50/50 without him having to fight for it, they still feel the need to try and drag me through the mud. And they sometimes used my written words to do it. I never said a negative thing about my ex on the old blog. No readers ever read about any of the vile things he has said or done during or after the divorce. So, I can't really understand their malice toward me. He absolutely skated out of the divorce; so much so that my attorney had me sign a paper saying that she had advised me against what I'd done so I couldn't sue her for malpractice later.
But whatever. In the end they've done me a favor. I didn't want to move locations yet again, but in doing so I'm able to start fresh and speak freely without being under their watchful eyes. I ask that you not link this site if you know me personally. I ask that you use caution with who you forward the link to if the person you're sending it to knows me personally. I don't think I have it in me to move again.
It's good to be back and welcome to the newcomers.
P.S. This isn't going to become a forum to bash my ex. He's not worth the energy.
P.P.S. My mentioning the terms of our divorce obviously goes against my decision to mention that I have children. It was a one time thing to support something that needed to be said. From here on out, there will be no further mention of my kids, only what happens in my life on the days that I don't have them.
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14 comments:
I'm glad you're back...although you are correct, it's like I'm reading someone else's words. It's refreshing, you're amazing and I admire how you've handled yourself during this entire ordeal. Good for you. I took an entirely different road after my 10-yr marriage dissolved. I have no regrets but when I read this blog, it's like looking down the road not taken.
Thank you, Harmony. I'm curious as to what road you took if you ever feel like sharing.
Thanks for the email. Glad to see you back around the blogosphere. :-)
Might I suggest you don't start out with these kinds of limitations on yourself? (i.e. "I won't talk about the kids..." etc.) If you begin with limits and censors, you'll continue to live by them. Hasn't it been long enough?
And while I don't think this will become a forum to bash your ex, I do think that it's time you put some of the history into writing. I personally know most of this history (I'm not arrogant enough to assume I know it all) but I'm willing to bet the vast majority of the readers whom you've never met cannot fathom what exactly you went through.
I'm not saying that you should write a novel about the time this happened, or that one night when he XYZ blah blah. But it would be helpful when doing some soul searching via text to include details that affected you. I know that a lot of his words have sunk deeply into you and have become echoed in your own voice as a means to self sabotage. That is the stuff I don't think you should keep quiet.
Also, stop with the disclaimers. This is your place. People who love you don't need disclaimers and people who don't know you aren't entitled to them. MissD and I now just say "Standard disclaimers apply" whenever we feel the need to tack on something. (Usually me, regarding the tornado state of my house.) That covers everything nicely. But for the most part, you don't need the disclaimers.
I don't know if there were any other of your regular readers that became a pawn in the searches quite like I did. (To be fair, I lent myself to that on purpose for reasons I know you already understand.) Perhaps encourage those people to also identify differently, in terms that wouldn't throw up directional flags towards you via a search engine?
And, to close out this volume of a comment, I want to just say that I'm glad you're writing again. And that I love you. And I wish for you a vag free of any green indicators on your wand o' infection. ;-p
I am thrilled to see you back. I've been missing you in my browser tabs (no blogroll here...)
I was wondering where my fellow commenters were!
"S" - always keeping it short, sweet, and bossy. :)
but why blogger??
Thank you, Everyone!
Fringes, It's free?
I'm glad you're back!
I hate your black background though. It's rough on the eyes. ;)
Lisa, I'm probably just squatting here temporarily. I'll get a domain and return to EE soon. (Does that make it better, Fringes?)
man, you bloggers are judgemental about where to blog. :)
Ah, so you guys are what they call "blog snobs"? haha
i tend to be a snob about everything.
Hey...finally made it here!
I'm very glad you're back...missed ya!
I'm just catching up on what you've been up to, but I have to say...did we have the same attorney? Because I did the SAME thing to get out of my marriage (no kids, though) AND my atty made me sign a form, too. She said, "A year from now when you've come to your senses, I don't want you to sue me."
Well, while I could kick my own @ss over the money, home, and thriving business, I think he got the message that no amount of money was worth being married to him one second longer than I had to be...take. It. All.
Nuff said. I'm gonna be reading now! Welcome back!
Hugs!
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