The first two* men that I slept with after my separation shared a birthday -- October 27th. I didn't know that at the time, of course, because I don't generally ask someone's birthday before doing the mattress mambo with them, but it wasn't terribly surprising since I've always found myself insanely attracted to Scorpios.
I don't know that I really believe in Astrology and what it purports, but I don't think it's entirely coincidental that I'm drawn to men born in late October. My first love was born on Halloween and I still get a little weak in the knees whenever I'm around him. I think he will always have that power over me.
As for the two guys who share a birthday, I'm no longer involved with either one of them. The first now having a serious girlfriend (and having one at the time as well, but forgetting to mention it. A minor oversight.) and the second one is currently on, and will remain on, my shit list. But I wasn't looking for a future with either of them, so neither really caused me much, if any, heartache. (Okay, maybe the first guy caused some heartache, but I'm stronger for it.)
But they were very much alike (along with my first love) in the fact that they're very self-centered and narcissistic. They're all very intelligent. They're all very witty. And, really, they're all assholes. But they kept me on my toes. They never made it easy to care for them, nor did they make it easy to leave them. They're intriguing. And they're baaaaad for me.
But still I want to pay tribute to the Scorpios in my life: Happy Birthday, Assholes.
*That makes it sound like it was the first two in a long line of men. While sleeping with a slew of men theoretically sounds appealing, I'm not really willing to put my health and my safety at risk to sample the wares. So, no, I haven't slept with a long line of men -- just a short line of them.
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10 comments:
I'm just proud of you for having a line. I used to have a line but now I have a drought.
I take it you decided not to tell Asshole #2 about this blog? :)
"Happy Birthday, Assholes." I don't know why but that's been cracking me up ever since I read it. Love it!
I'm gonna go ahead and believe that 'Assholes' soley belongs to the male scoprios. The female scoprios (ahem, me) are really quite fabulous.
Mary! Of course I mean the men! And, in particular, the assholes to whom this post was dedicated.
K-Ho, two words: Fucking cervix!
In that case, Happy Fuckin Birthday Assholes!
A lot of my boyfriends had the same birthday as well - July 11 - they were all Cancers. And if they wren't born on July 11, they were the catcher of a baseball team - weird, huh?
Hear, hear, Mary.
Jeanine, Cancers rock (so says the Cancer). That IS weird that you attract one or the other -- cancer or catcher. (The Scrabble player in me sees mucho opportunity in the fact that you've only been with guys who use BOTH of the dreaded C's in their description.)
I'm with you, though, in that I've only slept with or been attracted to people in the IT world -- from my ex-husband forward. The next guy I'm with is a) not going to be a Scorpio and b) not going to work in the IT field.
I'm rooting for a dentist myself.
Tonight we celebrated my dad's 80th birthday. On October 27th. So, not all men born that day are assholes! But of course you knew that. :-))
Happy Birthday, Hilary's dad! You're not an asshole! :-)
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