Fall Has Fallen

It's an absolutely gorgeous night. It's about 70 degrees with minimal humidity. It's the kind of night that makes you like being outside even if being outdoors isn't something you normally do. Hanging with nature really isn't my thing. I'd much rather be holed up in an air-conditioned room with a book. Or somewhere (inside) visiting with friends. Fresh air is overrated.

Nights like tonight that make me rethink my stance on avoiding all things outside. Obviously not enough that I'm outside enjoying it since I'm typing here, but I considered sitting outside and reading. That's something I only do when I am coaxed outside by my daughter so that she can ride her bicycle. So, the fact that I considered it means it's really nice outside.

But nights like tonight also cause me to shiver because I know they mean that winter* is coming soon, and with winter generally comes depression. I feel pretty good this year though. Last year, in October, I had a lot of things to deal with: surgery, a stalker, and an ignorant decision on my part to start weaning myself off of my anti-depressant as if last year was going to be different from all of the other years since Jill's birth.

This year, I feel really good. I'm so much stronger emotionally. Even though I'm still dealing with ridiculous situations, I'm managing to stand my ground and to not let the situations get me down. I'm hopeful that this is a sign that I'll make it through this winter without having to hibernate. I'll also remember that even though I'm feeling good (and I'm PMSing right now! Still feeling good!), it isn't the time to start trying to get off of the happy pills. I've already learned that lesson (about four times).

*Winter here consists of maybe one day below freezing. It's really Daylight Savings Time and the longer nights that kick my ass.